Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I will be naked everywhere
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
