He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
