Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
