Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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