fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
