He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
