If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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