Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
