no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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