Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
