remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
