she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
