I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
