im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
