Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
