Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
