Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He? As in you personified your dick?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
