You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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