home. puking in laundry basket.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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