where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
