She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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