will power is for people who don't want to get laid
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
