Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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