I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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