What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
pop tarts are not kleenex
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
