So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
