She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
