I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
