Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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