hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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