I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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