you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
