god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
