before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
