Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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