she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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