You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
