Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
