I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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