a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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