Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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