My nipple is on Facebook.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
