whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
