I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
