Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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