He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
