I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
