Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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