i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
40s are totally the cure
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
