Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
