I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Terrible idea I love it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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